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  • writing a paper called "Sex and Pregnancy: A Possible Connection"
  • presenting his thesis on "E=MC3: That's Right, Einstein, I Said Cubed!"
  • being interviewed on his new novel "Sweet and Sour Pork: How Can It Be Both? At The Same Time?"
  • Gathering research for his essay, "Lincoln: The Man, The President, The Town Car"
  • Wondering if his new research grant will accept his thesis, "Whoops!: I Blew My $800,000 Research Grant At The MGM Grand Casino"
  • Pondering the scientific evidence to support the claim "Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: So Cheesy, It Should Be Called 'Kraft Cheese & Macaroni'"
  • reviewing extensive analysis on the topic "There Sure Are A Lot of 'Smiths' In The Phone Book, Dude"
  • writing his final paper called "The Isotope Conjecture: A Fake Title So My Wife Won't Look Inside Here and See My Letters To Penthouse Forum"
  • a bit disappointed he didn't win the Nobel Prize as evidenced by his book "Why The People Who Award The Nobel Prize Are A Bunch Of Jerks"
  • doing scientific research on "Gravity: The Devil's Tool"
  • farts fairy dust.
  • can ride her bike with no handle bars
  • is something and things that arnt things
  • will smash you like clams on her belly
  • is addicted to cha cha
  • has overdosed on yoghurt and is now completely mullered
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